Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
