sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
