for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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