chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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