Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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