You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Terrible idea I love it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
