you have to choose: penises or morals?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Shitshow foam night was such a success
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
