Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
