I cannot find my penis.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
These tits shall not be calmed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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