You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I could fuck to npr.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
