people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
