would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
