Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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