he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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