you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
