I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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