there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
