Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
