I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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