Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
