For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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