you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
