There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
