O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
