Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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