i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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