Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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