He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
