If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
