i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
