ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
