i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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