You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
