my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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