lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
