Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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