He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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