He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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