She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
