my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
