i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
