Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
