Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
