i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
