and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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