Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
