oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
