Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
