I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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