They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
