Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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